My brother and I were seated next to each other on the ski lift, snow flakes drifting down around us. We were being propelled skyward, up the face of the mountain. I scooted over to give us both more room on the narrow seat. Our ski tips clacked together.
It was family vacation. We were budding ski pros.
In reality, we’d fallen down more times than we care to remember, and one us may have fallen getting on the ski lift. I won’t say any names… Yea, it was embarrassing. So you can imagine our relief when we escaped the waiting lines and sat back to relax in our winter wonderland. Bro time.
My brother and I have always been close. Our talk naturally turned to a pretty common topic of conversation among guys.
I don’t remember many of the specifics of the conversation, but I do remember my brother talking about love, how we see the “fake Hollywood love” in movies. Love that takes little effort, is perfect, and ends with the couple that rides off into the sunset. My brother is an actor, passionate about telling stories that are authentic and powerful. He’s one of the hardest workers I know, and I’ve always found him to be a wise and deep thinker.
I thought about what he said, how romance movies normally give us conflict or tension that ends up being completely resolved. But does conflict ever wrap up that neatly? Is love that easy to create or foster?
“You have to forge what you love.” My brother’s words ring true in my head to this day.
These words will always stick with me. It applies to relationships, but also to our passions and dreams. Real love doesn’t come easy. It’s painful, ugly, and requires self-sacrifice. But it can be beautiful, inspiring, and cause us to grow as well.
In life, most things worth doing, worth having, also need to be worth fighting for. Are you willing to fight for what you love? To hammer away at something simple and unrefined until it becomes beautiful? Sometimes that relationship, that dream, needs dedication and hard-work for you to even realize you love it/them.
This is the definition of forge.
“make or shape (a metal object) by heating it in a fire or furnace and beating or hammering it.”
I think this definition lacks a key aspect. It doesn’t highlight the repeated effort, the persistence needed to forge something worth admiring.
So, whether it’s a dream or a relationship, take heed of my brother’s wisdom. Work for what you love, whom you love. And don’t be unsettled if it’s hard. You will get frustrated and upset in any relationship, or while pursuing any dream. You will have ups and downs, but I am convinced that the end of the journey will leave you with something more beautiful than you could have imagined.
Know that whatever you forge will have blemishes. Admire the blemishes in the metal. Those are your blemishes.
Perfect isn’t beautiful. Little imperfections, makes something wholly you. Every relationship will have it, and every dream pursued will get ugly.
“Forge what you love.”
But don’t try too hard…